It’s a lot of hard work being a mother. We ‘re constantly running around trying to make things happen for our families, from changing diapers to B-feeding and warming bottles.
Life can be so frustrating sometimes we have no choice but to laugh all the bad times off. We love a funny mother, because it doesn’t make our lives so wild and crazy.
Someone come get this kid, it’s not mine.
Nobody wants to be the one on the plane with a crying child. Everybody’s going to look at you like, “the mom who brought a screaming kid on board.” So, maybe you’re trying to dissect them! (And Kidding!)
It’s a movie
I don't care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016
You may have the world’s sweetest, most beautiful kid but as soon as they try to wake you up in the middle of the night from a sleep, it is over.
A crying kid is not the kid I would want to be around. Someone informs this kid that whispering is the new talk and from now on we just accept requests in whispers.
I mean everything.
Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half.— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2015
To have two children means it all gets shared. And by all — we mean everything. Even the smallest things need to get divided in half so no one is crying or feeling left out.
This is mommy’s special snack.
Mom— Marl (@Marlebean) September 16, 2014
What are you eating?
When our children scream, run, strike, kick, spill and all the in-betweens … We just need to take a break. Perhaps a Xanax, mightbe a glass of wine. Whatever it may be we just need to relax.
Thanks for that, kid.
In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming, "Are you pooping?!?" in a public restroom.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2016
There is nothing like having your own child make you worse embarrassed than anyone else could have. We don’t need someone in public bathrooms to announce our bowel movements. Thanks, darling.
We’re always the most careful with our first.
First kid: healthy, organic everything.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 29, 2016
After third kid: KFC chicken leg falls on floor – just pick it up and eat it, I don't care.
Our first kid is like that brand new doll you want to make sure your sight never leaves. As for your second, third , and fourth child? Well, everybody can hold them up and eat whatever they want. It’s all well.
We’re not hypocrites we’re just…hypocrites.
Parenthood is:— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) March 18, 2015
Telling your kids they can't eat brownies for breakfast, then eating brownies for breakfast after they leave for school.
We do not want to feed our kids like garbage, but we should feed like garbage because all we do is put up with their crap during the day.
Genius in the making.
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
Honestly, nothing is more connected than a kid who says they love us but forgets to think about our life. I will write back, “Same Boy, Same Boy.”
Yup, we do.
"It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."— That Carly Girl (@thatcarlygirl) January 22, 2014
Mommy is crying as she’s on her last Pinot Grigio bottle, because we’re all stuck sobering and coping with life when it comes to us.
It’s a challenge to say the least.
If you mean getting my 3yo to change out of her Elsa dress into regular clothes everyday, then yes I do participate in extreme sports.— AussieAnnie (@MummaCrazy) June 21, 2015
You ‘re trying to tell your daughter every single day she can’t wear her Elsa dress to school. It is a challenge and should be treated as an Olympic sport.
Genius idea here
Some moms know there’s almost never a quiet moment to enjoy your morning cup of coffee, so hours later you’re left chugging cold coffee. This mom brilliantly fixed the issue.