When we're younger, dating, and understanding it all, we're looking in a companion for certain things. Clearly someone we're drawn to physically. Different preferences. Good work. Values in general. Twenty-somethings don't look down the line for around 15 years. Babies, fatigue, snoring, weight gain, a mid-life crisis, problems with finances and simply not getting a second to think, rest, or relax.
With three teenagers, a mortgage and nonstop uncertainty, I have to joke about what a good husband is to me now. On a dating profile you wouldn't notice any of these' traits.' Yet ultimately they do exist. A man who puts petrol into my car without even asking me, so the tank is loaded when I start my engine. Literally, that is the path to my head. And I don't just mean paying, I mean the act of taking my vehicle to and loading up the gas pump.
A friend changing diapers, cream on a rash, offering showers, getting a wiggly infant in jammies, performing nighttime feedings and removing boogers. A friend who loads the coffee pot with water, grounds and sets the timer, so when I wake up in the morning, it is primed.
A companion who stares at the incision of your episiotomy, swollen breasts, incubated hairs and hemorrhoids. Because no one wants to take a peek at that A guy who is always going to grab me a glass of water, coffee, wine and refill on anything. Then he brings ice in my drink all the time. That is the sweetest thing to me.
A buddy who puts up a giant video screen for nearby kids in the garden, rides on a snowmobile too many kids around the street, and welcomes the entire neighborhood for a drink. A guy who straightens the waistband of our autistic son on his pants, waves at his trains, even after the thousandth time, grinds up substance, requests a nutritious vocalization, attends every IEP conference, makes phone calls, performs tests and never gives up hope.
A friend who snapchats you poop smeared with the caption on your mirror,' Get cleaner, your boy finally pooped! Yay!-Yay!My reply:' You are doing wrong with Snapchat.' A man who understands the importance of a good sleep. A guy who stays with you in the pits, crying, the no sleep, the meltdowns, the bad days that transform into painful months and years, and never leaves. Who looks on without running away forever.
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